Sunday Is For Lovers: Rontel & Eboni Batie
Sunday Is For Lovers Series, February 2021.
Millennial Love Stories is revisiting couples who’ve previously participated in the series who have chosen to share on their changes since their last interview. Today we share the story of Rontel and Eboni Batie, 32 and 31 respectively, currently residing in PG County, MD.
It’s Saturday afternoon on a cold January day. Rontel appears in the Zoom video screen first then Eboni joins with their five month old son, Bravo, on her hip attempting to soothe his little cries. He’s teething and also, spoiled, according to his mother’s account.
They’re in what appears to be the office space of a brand new, three-story home that went into construction at the top of March 2020 located in PG County, Maryland.
Since we last spoke, their lives have changed tremendously with an epic wedding, a honeymoon spent relaxing in one of Rontel’s favorite cities, adjusting to pandemic parenthood and moving into their home.
In August of 2019 family and friends of Rontel and Eboni Batie descended upon Cancun, Mexico where the couple made arrangements at the Hard Rock Hotel for a wedding weekend to be remembered. A rooftop party on Friday followed by a pool party on Saturday led into Sunday’s ceremony, the perfect finale to a weekend dedicated to their union.
For the honeymoon, they boarded a cruise in Vancouver where they sailed the Pacific Ocean down to Los Angeles, disembarked and soaked in the California sun and vibes. The two had plans to head to Vegas for a change of pace for the last leg of their adventure but in a spur of the moment move, they decided to remain in LA. One time for spontaneity, something the now parents look back on longingly as they’ve learned just how much parenthood changes ones ability to move on their own terms and timing.
Eboni and Rontel have both built their careers on Capitol Hill with a home base in the Washington, DC area where they also have a solid network of friends and family nearby. Eboni serves as a deputy director at a bipartisan non-profit very much entrenched in the happenings of The Hill, while Rontel works as a lobbyist for corporate clients.
In a typical world, pregnancy and the early stages of parenthood are marked by lots of support from people in your circle, but when Eboni and Rontel learned they were expecting in January 2020 they also realized how important it would be to distance themselves from people in order to remain safe and healthy.
“We had known about Covid before everyone else, her father’s a doctor, he called in late January”, Rontel explains. And then, as the pandemic truly set in in March, tough decisions had to be made. “We immediately had to adjust to a Covid pregnancy where doctors offices are now shutting men out of appointments and grocery stores are running out of supplies. We were separated from our families as well, mine being in Florida, hers being in California. We go through the entire [time] like that just secluding ourselves, working remotely, staying home.”
Baby Bravo arrived three weeks early. His timing, however, aligned with his grandmother, Eboni’s mom, arriving in town from California for his birth.
“My cousin picked her up [from the airport] and she was going to my cousin’s house to quarantine, and I was like ‘no, we’re going to the hospital’. They ended up driving straight to the hospital, we got a quick picture in her mask and all in the parking lot then they wheeled me in.” Eboni smiles and plays with Bravo. “Yep, you were coming.”
Eboni’s mother stayed with the couple for three months, supporting them as they adjusted through the newness of parenthood. During that time they were able to get out of the house for a few baby-free hours to enjoy time to themselves, mostly for a quick dinner and drinks outside.
Now, both working from home with an infant, they rely on a tag-team approach to ensure someone is always on with Bravo and that each of them have the ability to be present for work priorities on top of handling household needs.
“I’ll ask her ‘Is this a call you’re leading?’ If so, I’ll take him and make sure she’s able to focus in on that,” Rontel explains. “She pulled something on Instagram last month, the number of average hours that a woman takes breastfeeding, I think is more than the average full-time worker does at their actual job. So to compensate for the time that she would spend breastfeeding or the time that the baby just wants to be around her because she's the mother and I'm not, I try to utilize that time to fulfill other needs in the house, like cooking, cleaning and Instacarting groceries.”
In 2017, Rontel and Eboni officially met at a vision board party hosted by a mutual friend. Today, the couple maps out their goals and plans for their lives together on whiteboards and vision boards placed around their home, one of them visible in the frame of the Zoom call as we speak.
“We start with everything we want done by the end of the year and the work backwards as to how we get there breaking it down by quarter. We just started for this year and we’re already in February, basically.” Eboni looks at Rontel.
This practice of setting goals together and making plans to support each other is a primary way of staying connected. They even have some projects and ambitions they’re working towards together. As hosts of the Cuffing Season podcast, they hope to bring it back someday, perhaps when Bravo is a little more independent. They’re also both studying to become certified financial advisors.
Though in-person happy hours may not be an option right now, the couple spends time talking to other married couples during Zoom happy hours which has been a powerful outlet for learning, sharing experiences and a practice of vulnerability that’s deepened those much needed relationships with other couples.
Eboni elaborates on the value of this. “I think the pandemic's kind of helped in a weird way because people are starting to put things into perspective you're forced to have deeper connections. It's not just like, ‘Let's go out and drink, and happy hour, have fun and then we're not going to talk about things.’ Now, it's like we're talking and it's catching up on life and just how you are actually doing.
“During those life moments, like getting married and having a kid, you really do need support. You need it and you expect it from people you consider friends and family, and it's a wake up call. You may think you're pretty close with someone until you see them put forward zero effort to show up for you on the biggest days of your life. This past year I've been able to reconnect with two really good friends of mine from FAMU [college].Boy did they remind me of that last year when I was going through the biggest moments of my life. They just continued to show up and show out for me and Eboni, and I just couldn't be more grateful for the realization of what's really, really important in life, and that's relationships.”
Deepening relationships with others in their network has certainly been a priority and a benefit for Eboni and Rontel, but this time of increased togetherness has also allowed them to tighten their bond as well.
“We’ve been revisiting what we learned in counseling with our pastor,” Rontel says. “One of those would be our love languages. That’s something we explored early on but it's actually paying dividends now. Eboni's love language is quality time and words of affirmation.”
Eboni picks up, “Um-hummm, yesterday he had a more important call than me for work so I had the baby almost all day just doing the majority of the work and he was like, ‘You did a really good job today. You're such a great mom.’”
“And it may seem small, but it’s really a boost to your partner.” Rontel concludes.
Another small, but effective tactic to remain connected was an idea that Eboni had, “Everyday in the morning we just give each other a hug for like a minute, just hug, and then we can go about our day.”
Eboni and Rontel shared a few songs that define their love which includes “I’m Sprung” by T-Pain and “So High” by John Legend. Check out the full playlist on Spotify.
