Sunday Is For Lovers: Bola & Ayana
Millennial Love Stories is revisiting couples who’ve previously participated in the series who have chosen to share on their changes since their last interview. Today we share the story of Bola and Ayana, a couple that navigates the creator economy together while raising their daughter as they prepare to tie the knot in Summer 2021.
It was a Friday when Ayana and Bola were both laid off from their jobs in February 2018, on the same day no less. They took a moment to cry then decided they would handle it on Monday and moved forward with their weekend plans to celebrate their anniversary with tickets to see Black Panther and Thai food.
It’s challenges like this that have made the two better best friends, Ayana explains “We have weathered losing our jobs together, drinking during Covid, him not teaching me how to play spades because he really doesn't know how to play, although he says that he does.” Bola glances, but doesn’t protest.
In 2019, they bounced back resiliently, landing new jobs, moving into a new home in Elizabeth, New Jersey, and a first-ever global campaign deal with Amazon Fashion featuring the whole family. After a year of steady grind, Ayana felt the family deserved a vacation and she had beaches in Mexico on the brain. Bola, however, had something different in mind, so on Christmas day they traveled to Birmingham, England where Ayana’s family lives.
Ayana was distracted by their bouncing around enjoying the area that her dad’s side of her family calls home. All the while, Bola ran a behind-the-scenes operation asking Ayana’s father and step-father back in The States, for her hand in marriage, connecting with a photographer to capture the big moment and finding the perfect location. He disguised it as a content shoot for their work together, an anniversary shoot. That made no waves as creating content together is part of their livelihood.
On the day of the proposal Ayana was in her authentic form, dressed up for the shoot, talking shit, singing any song that came to mind from Trey Songz to Sunday Service. She took her time playfully leading them to the location of the shoot, even forgetting where they were going along the way.
At the Gas Street Basin, patiently, Bola performs the routine of setting up the camera to capture photos. Still a bit oblivious, one small clue only a content creator would notice tips Ayana off; Bola’s not paying attention to his phone.
“As a photographer, when you're shooting off your phone and you're using your tripod, you use the app on your phone. I noticed that he was setting up the pictures, but he wasn't on his phone, and I'm like, ‘We don't have time for this. Why aren't you on your phone?’ But I see that it’s recording.” Ayana explains.
Keenly observant and aware, Ayana seems to be the type of woman who can be boldly in performance mode with a running tab of nuanced details running in the back of her mind, never missing a beat. As she realizes that Bola is uncharacteristically calling her by her first name and pulling her in close she wonders what’s going on, debates where they should eat after the shoot is done and asks him to hurry up because they need to get the shot. All at once, Bola is down on one knee asking her to be his wife.
From Ayana’s POV, a nearby stranger who’s been lurking suddenly is clearly the photographer, she realizes there is a ring and simultaneously wonders when the hell he purchased it? A blur of thoughts and emotions she covers her face and questions if it’s real.
Bola, still on the ground as Ayana realized this is the real deal, “Will you marry me?”
A resounding yes it was indeed.
Bola and Ayana had experienced trials prior to the onset of the Covid-19 pandemic. The lessons of those moments were put to work when they dealt with a Covid scare with their seven-year-old daughter, Ayo, who came down with a severe, one-day illness early on in the pandemic. Then, Bola experienced a lapse in work due to furloughs. Fear set in. Newly in business, their boutique agency had just leased footage of their proposal to Jared Jewelers. At the same time so much uncertainty surrounded them, but they agreed it was important to put on a brave face for Ayo and create stability by any means necessary.
“In our relationship, we don't do things male female; you stay in the kitchen, and you take care of the bills. No, it's not to say that things are always 50-50 because they're not. There have been times where he's up. There are moments where I'm up, and he's not. We had to learn over the course of that year of not having traditional employment how to weather the storms.” Ayana explains. “We were able to stick together. I think that's the biggest thing. We don't put anything above the family. It's family first, and then it's ego last. That's kind of how we've been since we got together. We only make decisions that benefit all of us. Not just us two, but Ayo, as well.”
Being business partners and lovers is not for everyone, but for Bola and Ayana one role does not appear to come before the other, the duality simply is. As Ayana describes it: “It’s a balance. We harmonize.”
The secondary definition of harmonize is to produce a pleasing visual combination. The receipts are plentiful, check their Instagram feeds. Check the work of their small and minority owned business focused agency. The path to the final product, however, is not without relentless devotion to their work and their responsibilities.
“Like right now, he's busy as hell, so I'm doing all the errands and doing what I need to do. I technically am on deadline for an article. And our client, we have to post for her tomorrow, and so we need to develop that in the bed.” Ayana speaks on how packed their schedules at any given time. “We carved out Sundays to focus on Ayo, and then in the evening we’ll take time to hang with each other.”
Bola adds a simple yet earnest statement, “We know how to love each other. When it comes down to it, we try to put each other first, and when we don't, then that's when we have issues.”
Now that it’s 2021 the two are continuing to create and harmonize together in ways that work exclusively for them, including when it comes to planning their upcoming wedding ceremony.
“We're not wedded to any ideas. I only want to be married to him, and that's all. And have bomb photos. The photos must be bomb.” Ayanna expresses.
They’ve analyzed all possible outcomes for what means to plan a wedding in the midst of the pandemic, and ultimately agree that they’ll do what works for them, no matter if it’s at the courthouse, an intimate ceremony, which is what they’re planning at the moment, or if they choose to hold a celebration later that can accommodate both of their large families. All that matters is that they’re stepping into this new phase of life, together, officially making the trio a family of Okoyas, forever, Bola, Ayana and Ayo.
Ayana and Bola shared a few songs that define their love which includes “Find Someone Like You” by Snoh Aalegra and “No Good” by dvsn. Check out the full playlist on Spotify.
